Question. How to deal with a humiliation?


Hello Lana, I have a question how to deal with a humiliation? I used to be depended from the people I disapproved of. But how to deal with this humiliation? How to ignore the humiliation which can affect self-confidence and personality? I heard that suffering makes you stronger. Can a humiliation be converted into a suffering?

Let me be more specific. I just want to live comfortable while depended from other people.

I live with my brother currently and I realize that I’m depended on him. At the same time, I totally disagree with his political views. They seem to be stupid and naïve. And when we have discussions I really want to put him back in his place and explain how stupid his opinion is. But I can’t because this is disadvantageously for me. It’s not a real humiliation, but I feel very uncomfortable.


Hello, Jack!

The thing is when you depend on someone, you can’t be comfortable because you’re limited. This is a point of being in jail. They take the most valuable thing for you – freedom. Yes, you have a bed, you have a food. But you don’t have a freedom of movement, freedom of expressing your feelings and opinions.

Of course, you are not in the jail, but you’re limited too and this is your choice. I seriously doubt your brother chained you and keeps in his house against your will. If he is, I highly recommend calling the police. But if not, this is totally your choice. And actually your brother makes you a big favor – let you live in his place. This is a lot and very generous of him, even you take it as a not a big deal.

I don’t know how old are you and your situation, but I highly recommend you find a job and your own place even if it’s a small room above somebody’s garage. In that case, you can express your own opinions and ideas as an equal person. This is one of the psychological basis – when you depend on someone you can’t be equal. I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true.

I’m sure you can be and will be independent. Good luck!

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